4 ways you can help your children achieve their full potential
In results-driven Singapore, parents sometimes push their children too hard or in the wrong way. Here are 4 ways you can help your child realise his or her full potential.
 
Every parent wishes to give their children the best in life. In Singapore, this typically translates to pushing their children to spend more time on school and homework in order to achieve better grades and land a better job in the future.
 
Parents here are willing to shell out good money for this, to the tune of almost $1 billion a year , on tuition for their children, despite children here already spending some of the longest hours on homework in the world.
 
Today, it is no longer enough to just be academically-inclined. Many parents also press their children to develop their interests in non-academic areas so that their children become good all-rounders. By doing this, it saddles children with even more training in the form of music, art or sports lessons.
 
While this model has produced competent workers for Singapore, it may be counterproductive in helping your children to realise their full potential. Rather than forcing your child to study or pick up skills they have no interest in, parents can choose to nurture them in ways that let their child realise his or her full potential in the areas they choose.
 
Here are four ways you can help your child realise his or her full potential:
1. Teach them the value of hard work and discipline
In the world we live in today, many are fast to tout the notion of working smart instead of working hard. While this may be an attractive proposition, it rarely works out if you are not able to put in an equal amount of hard work.
 
At the end of the day, it's hard to look past the age-old saying "the early bird catches the worm". If you can instil in your child an appreciation of hard work and a strong sense of responsibility, they will always be able to catch the proverbial "worm".
 
Regardless of whether your child is naturally gifted or requires some help at school or an activity, he or she needs to be challenged and to appreciate the value of putting in the required effort in order to overcome these challenges.
 
This means that if your child puts in the extra hours required to do well in a test or takes on extra chores so that they can afford to buy a product they really want, you should encourage and compliment their efforts.
2. Set the bar at the right level
In Asian societies, parents tend to pressure their children to compete with and outperform their peers. While encouraging your children to do well at school and extracurricular activities is important, the trick is not to set unrealistically high expectations.
 
Each child should be given the chance to learn in their own unique ways and at their own pace. Instead of constantly comparing them to other children who are excelling in various aspects of life, you should tailor their targets to be challenging but achievable.
 
By doing this, you will be providing just the right stimulus for them to strive to do better, achieve their goals and to set a higher expectation for themselves. This will instil a drive to do their best even when you're not around to force them to do so later in their lives.
3. Expose them to a variety of experiences and opportunities
Your child is like a sponge – soaking up knowledge and information very quickly. You should use this time to expose them to new experiences and opportunities to build awareness, confidence and critical thinking.
 
Allow them to freely try new sports such as football, badminton and tennis, musical instruments like drums, violin and piano, and even activities such as coding, martial arts and painting. You never know what hidden talents your child might have.
 
You should also get them to start learning about important life skills such as earning money and budgeting for bills and expenses as well as understanding the importance of long-term savings.
 
To effectively do this, you need to pace out the activities you introduce to your children. Don't forget that running to the playground and play video games are also part and parcel of growing up so you should allocate time for such activities.
 
Once they start enjoying an activity they are good at, you can encourage them to pursue it. You should also be careful not to overwhelm them with too much at one go, as it may cause them to quit or become closed off without even trying. 
4. Let them learn from failures
The phrase "we're only human" literally means that we are expected to fail sometimes, just because of the fact that we are human.
 
How you deal with failure can heavily influence your children's behaviour. If your child comes home after getting a D grade on a test, you should use it as an opportunity to find out how your child thinks he or she can improve rather than blowing your top and making them fearful over their "failure".
 
Letting them know it's ok to fail, but at the same time getting them to critically think what can be done to improve the situation will encourage your child to try improve in a healthy way.